it's my fault for being so persistent to get hold to something i know will never ever be mine.
it's either my perseverance and en-durability are too strong or my stubbornness and stupidity ruled my cerebral cortex for not letting it go.
either way it is, i want to be happy and be grateful for what i have now. in fact, i'm enjoying the present with several greater sacrifices i paid. i know, one day i'll lose what i held after some time, but i want to value the present. i refused to think about the future. the hopeless hidden hope that i held inside. in other word, i'm shutting myself to imagine the best outcome from what i endure but my mind has been focusing and expecting the worst from it. though, the chosen road was so winding and excruciatingly painful, i want to endure and let's see what comes along with my patience.
Please, Ya Allah, show me the way~
this is so emotional.
so noooot me
( T _ T )
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